I sometimes get so irritated.
It’s funny how I never saw myself as a person who could get so easily irritated or angered ……until I got married. 😀
Marriage is God’s way, I think, of shaping us and molding us into a person who is more like Christ for nothing tests our love or patience more than marriage does. I think anybody who is married can attest to this.
Often, when I do get irritated, if a conversation does ensue, it will likely turn into an argument, one that I must make my point to win. I don’t know why, but I must keep going till I win. In my mind, I know I should surrender but my heart feels hurt, therefore justified to keep this going. I get this sudden conviction I should keep my mouth shut or else I may something I regret. Of course, I don’t yield to this conviction right away. It’s like I ask the Holy Spirit to take a hike and I encourage my flesh to keep on, for it is doing a fabulous job.
Guess what?! I’m living Romans 7:14-25! I am glad the Holy Spirit led Paul to write this. At least I know I’m not crazy. Phew.
Lately, my husband and I have been more submitted to the Lord in prayer and in the Word. The natural by-product of this has been us yielding more to the Holy Spirit and less to the flesh. And you know what!? Something amazing happened this morning. I saw toothpaste marks in the sink and I didn’t go nuts! It wasn’t a matter of life or death where I felt compelled to text my husband to ask him why he must do this just to spite me. I didn’t bother to ask him why he couldn’t take that extra second to rinse that toothpaste off just so I could be at peace. I rinsed it off myself. And life went on. It seems so trivial though, doesn’t it? So utterly ridiculous! And yes, ridiculous it is indeed. The flesh is very persistent and it takes every opportunity it gets to lead us into sin, even toothpaste marks in the sink.
God has been helping me respond out of love and patience instead of anger or irritation. Why? Because I was able to admit my problem, my weakness of allowing things to get to me so easily.
In 2 Cor 12:9, Paul speaks of God’s power resting on him and working in him where God’s strength is made perfect in weakness. This word used here for “weakness” is used in terms of a sickness or ailment which keeps one from achieving or accomplishing what they would like to. It is the idea of failure, which ironically, is what sin is. The greek for sin and falling short (Romans 3:23) is hamartia – being in error or missing the mark.
Our weakness or want of strength (which leads to sin) keeps us from being who God wants us to be in Him. However, when we surrender our weakness to God while recognizing God is able to work His strength perfectly in our weakness, we can rejoice! Therefore, Paul says he can boast (have confidence) in his weakness for he knows the outcome isn’t sin prevailing but God’s glory! How marvelous is our God who works in us through His power despite our weakness. There is hope for the one who rests in His grace for it is sufficient!